15 COMMON WEDDING MISTAKES

This is the biggest day of your life and the wedding process is complicated. Mistakes are bound to happen but here are some that are all too common and serious enough that they could literally spoil your wedding day.

• Not Having A Budget
  
  

  Unless you are so rich that money is not even a consideration, you must set a reasonable budget in advance and you must set it line item by line item. This will take some research into costs initially but it will be worth it in the end. It is imperative that you include a reserve after you have added up all your costs - I guarantee you will have either forgotten some items or underestimated some items. I recommend a minimum of a 10% reserve and a 20% reserve would be prudent.
  
  The wedding industry is just that - an industry. So while there is a lot of good advice out there, there is also advice from people who'll profit from it. Be careful you're not spending money where you don't need to - whether it's being talked into a more expensive wedding dress, or having a limousine when your wedding and reception are at the same location. Make sure you know your budget, what's important to you - and what isn't.
  
  Once you have a budget, you must live with it. Do not use up all the reserve on the first items you purchase figuring you can live within the rest of the budget. You do not want to be in a situation where you overspend in the beginning and then have to go cheap in the end to make up for it.

• Not Considering Possible Vendor Non-Performance
  
  

  The best way to avoid vendor non-performance is to choose carefully in the beginning. Ask for references and then call them, ask to see examples of previous weddings, check with the Better Business Bureau and be sure they know your requirements and are willing to meet them. This includes quality of service and of course arrival times at the ceremony.
  
  You will want to talk to at least two or three different vendors in each category so that you will have something to compare. Try to decide in advance exactly what you want so that you can tell each participant the same thing to ensure a fair comparison. It is not a bad idea, especially with the key vendors like the caterer and photographer, to talk to the vendor that came in second and ask how long it would take them to take over if you have trouble with your first choice - you will find all the experienced ones have had to do that at one time or another.

• Invitation Errors
  
  

  This is an obvious error that can be very time consuming to correct. Be sure and review all addresses and spelling carefully and have a second person look over the invitations for you. It is so easy for you to keep looking over an error without even knowing it.
  
  Be sure and get a draft proof before the final printing and again you look over it carefully and have someone else look over it also.
  
  One of the most common invitation errors is to not include enough postage. Wedding invitations come in all shapes and sizes, from multi-layered elegant invitations tied with satin ribbons to pocket invitations stuffed with response cards, reception cards and more. Square formats require additional postage as do those heavy envelopes filled with multiple cards and return envelopes. The last thing you want is to receive all of your invitations back with "Postage Due" stamped in red across your beautiful hand calligraphy addressed envelopes! Not only will you have to order new envelopes and address them all again, you will lose valuable time too! Avoid this major mistake by taking your invitations to the post office to be hand weighed and evaluated so you have just the right amount of postage on them before you drop them in the mailbox!

• Inviting Too Many Guests
  
  

  This is primarily a cost consideration but be sure you understand the capacity of your church and your reception site. What makes this subject difficult is guessing how many people will accept and how many will decline your invitation and that can largely be a function of geography. Do not invite 500 people and then estimate that only 250 will show up. The normal factor recommended is that 80% will say "yes" to the ceremony and the reception but keep a running total as your cards come in and adjust the caterer as necessary either up or down.

• Procrastinating on Placing Orders
  
  

  This is easy to do because some of the decisions are so difficult to make but the last thing you want is to be worrying about items arriving on time as the event gets closer and closer.
  
  Dresses - If you heart is set on a couture wedding dress be sure to plan on ordering at least six months in advance since your dress will be custom made and often done overseas. Also, most off-the-rack dresses will require alterations - be sure and factor in that time as well. This applies to the bridesmaid dresses also.
  
  Hotel Rooms - It is important that you block out rooms for guests that will be arriving from out of town. Do not wait until the last minute or you may find there will not be adequate rooms and then you have a real mess. You normally will not have to pay for the rooms in advance - the guest will pay for their rooms with their credit cards when they arrive.
  
  Presents - A common error is to wait too long to order your presents, especially today when they are commonly not purchased locally, but rather over the internet. Be sure and provide enough time for shipping as this is not a problem you want to deal with as time is running out prior to the big event.

• Errors on Marriage License
  
  

  There can be so many rules surrounding marriage licenses that this can often be a stumbling block. Just make sure you do it early enough to correct any errors that crop up before you have to present it to the minister at the wedding. A common error for those marrying a second time is to forget to bring official divorce papers when you go to get the marriage certificate. Make sure you plan in advance, some states require that you have the license 60 days in advance of the ceremony.

• Inappropriate Wedding Presents
  
  

  The most common mistake is to spend too much for these gifts. It is easy to fear that you will insult your friends and family by purchasing cheap gifts for the wedding party but that misses the point. The phrase, "It's the thought that counts" is never more appropriate than it is here and overspending here can mean you have to cut corners later on some of the really important items to stay on budget.
  
  Try to make the gifts practical. Purchasing a hip flask for the groomsmen may seem funny at the time but they will end up going into a drawer and never seeing the light of day again until they are finally just thrown out. Even a simple key ring is probably a better gift than the hip flask, but that brings up the second point - try to personalize your gift. This could mean for example if you are purchasing the same gift for each person in a category, you could personalize it by having the item engraved with each participant's initials. Another alternative if you are comfortable with the likes and dislikes of each in your party to purchase a unique gift for each, but be sure and keep the value of each as close as possible.

• Trying To Do It All Yourself
  
  

  You must delegate some of the responsibility because you are going to want to be sure you have someone responsible once the item nears conclusion and you do not have the time to make corrections if necessary. You are going to be very busy at the end - make sure it is on the items that are most important to you. Be sure and assign one person the responsibility to make sure everything is going smoothly on the final day -- Ushers are in place, the caterer is on schedule, the photographer has arrived early and is taking pictures, etc. You are going to be too busy getting ready in your dress to want to worry about last minute problems.

• Color Errors
  
  

  I am not going to spend a lot of time on this because I feel it is too personal an item but I am going to give you some advice that the experts propose - you can decide if you want to pay attention to it or not.
  
  Do not try to match every part - your bridesmaid dresses do not have to match the color of your groomsmen ties. What you want in the decorations is a touch of color here and there but too much color or trying to match every part will make it look artificial and fake. Try to stay as much as possible with pure colors like whites, creams, silvers, golds, browns, natural greens and black for your decorations at the reception. Use brighter colors sparingly to provide an accent here or there. The reception area can also affect your choice of colors - if it is very bland and boring you might get away with a little more color, but if it is busy you will want to stick with the more basic colors.
  
  Make sure your colors are complementary. An excellent site for coordinating you colors by theme is http://colorschemer.com.

• Inappropriate Speeches
  
  

  This is in my opinion the most common "error" at weddings and the impact can be lasting. It can be any one of the speeches, but the most common errors come from the best man trying to be funny or a faux-pas by the master of ceremony.
  
  Talk to each of your speech givers and try to emphasize to them not to include any controversial content - best man, don't talk about old girl friends. It's OK to try to include a joke or two, or even to try to get a blush or two out of the bride or the groom, but do not make them too personal or embarrassing to either the bride or the groom.
  
  Although it might seem too much, you could ask to see a copy of the speech before the big day if you are really worried about one or two of the participants.
  
  If you need help on how to prepare a really good and professional speech for any of the participants go to the Your Wedding Shop link on the right.

• No Weather Backup Plan
  
  

  This primarily applies to those of you that have chosen to roll the dice and have an outdoor ceremony or reception. This is obviously more risky in some areas more than other and also more risky at some times of the year but you should always have a backup plan just in case the weather is bad. The easiest way to do this is to choose a church or wedding hall that has both indoor and outdoor facilities but at least have an indoor facility ready should the need arise. I guess the alternative is to have a lot of umbrellas ready, but have some backup plan or your wedding could be ruined.

• Ignoring Religious Restrictions
  
  

  It is conceivable in some situations that inappropriate attire for the church or temple, or skipping the pre-canae could keep the officiant from marrying you when the big day comes around. To avoid this, meet with your officiant within one month of getting engaged and discuss in detail any special requirements.

• Last Minute Confusion
  
  

  Yes, you have had the rehearsal and you are sure everyone is ready but it always seems that someone is confused when the actual event comes due and you as the bride do not have time to deal with it. This is where that person mentioned above comes into play - this is the person who is responsible for all last minute problems. It is the wedding planner if you have one, but if not be sure and appoint someone to make sure everyone is in their proper place.
  
  This is probably a good time to talk about drinking the night before - there is nothing worse on the final day than having the best man or the bridesmaids hung over from the night before. Do not have the bachelor party or the bachelorette party the night before the ceremony and limit drinking at the rehearsal party.

• Ceremony Too Long
  
  

  This is another faux pas to avoid - having a ceremony that is too long. There is nothing worse than standing at the alter listening to snoring from the audience. Making them sit through an hour or two ceremony will only make them sleepy and irritable and it is not necessary - you can get everything said and done in a much shorter period of time.

• Lack of Focus
  
  

  The wedding ceremony is the main even - the reception is just a celebration of it. Make sure that you put enough thought into the music, reading, and vows to ensure that it will be memorable.
  
  Keep in mind the end result - you are getting married and about to start a new life together - you are not just planning a wedding. Some tension is natural between the participants and even between the bride and groom due to the inevitable stress involved with such a complicated event, but do not let things get out of control. In the final analysis, there will be some mistakes and you will even laugh about them later - some of them may even make the event more memorable. Don't panic - enjoy yourself.